Whether you’ve been through tough breakups yourself, or you know someone who has, you’ll know just how devastating it can be. For many people, there’s a sense of grief, and the process of getting over the breakup can take a long time.
It can be difficult to see a friend going through a breakup, and you can be sure that they’ll need you to help them through it. Everyone is different, and while some friends will need a lot of support, others might not. Whatever the situation, you can find some guidance to help you help them below.
Ask them what they need
A breakup can come as a big shock, even if it has been on the cards for a while. Your friend could be feeling lost, confused and unsure of the next steps. Instead of going in all guns blazing with the pity party and forcing them to open up, simply ask them what they need. Maybe they just want you close to feel safe, or maybe they want to spill their guts – whatever it is, do your best to accommodate – within your own boundaries of course. In the meantime, there are some great gifts you can buy someone after a breakup to help show them that you care.
Be there to take care of the practical things
‘I get by with a little help from my friends’, sang the Beatles, and that can be especially true after a breakup. Helping to take care of the practical things can give your friend the space to breathe and deal with their feelings, while making sure housework, cooking and other chores are taken care of.
Your friend might lean on you for other things too such as finding somewhere to live, finding divorce solicitors and more. Be helpful and accommodating, they’ll be grateful to have someone grounded taking care of things while they’re going through a lot.
Peters and May specialise is divorce and family law and will be able to provide practical and personable advice and support to your friend.
Make time for them
Your friend will be going through all kinds of ups and downs right now. Sometimes they might need someone to talk to, other times they might want to go out and enjoy a change of scenery. Whatever their needs, try to make some time for them. While it’s important that they get used to being on their own and enjoying their own company, you can be there to help during some of the more difficult times.
Help them stay grounded
If you’ve been through a breakup yourself, you’ll know that you don’t always think rationally. Your friend might think erratic thoughts, resort to destructive behaviour and may not be able to see an end to their pain. This is where you need to be their grounded centre. Help them find a routine again – work out weekly together, keep a dinner date and help them pick themselves back up. It’s not something that will happen overnight, but with a bit of support from you, they can regain control of their life.
Breakups are never easy, and no matter the circumstances, it’s times like these you need good friends around you. Be supportive, be practical and try to be what your friend needs. They’ll be glad you were around when the clouds break apart and the sun shines again!